As we transition into a new year, it’s likely our minds and social media feeds are filled with pressure to make a change, to become a new and better version of ourselves. Maybe the narrative that we enjoyed ourselves too much and need to detox are creeping in… or maybe our insecurities were pointed out or highlighted when spending time with family or friends.
While we agree that starting the year with intention can be powerful, it can also be incredibly harmful if these intentions aren’t coming from the right place.
If we are beginning our year with intentions that come from shame or with unrealistic expectations, this can be damaging for our mental health and wellbeing, making it much harder to actually make positive and sustainable change.
We can also experience:
Social Comparison – Comparing our experiences to others via social media can be harmful. We often perceive others lives as ‘perfect’ or engage in a sense of competition, making us feel we are behind.
Reflection on the past – While the turning of the year gives us an opportunity to reflect, it can lead to dwelling on the past and contribute to feelings of failure.
Financial Stress – Maybe we overspent at Christmas, maybe we feel the pressure of this new start on our finances. It is important to set realistic goals and focus on learning lessons from previous financial setbacks.
Loneliness and Social Pressure – You may be feeling overwhelmed or lonely after the festive season which can exacerbate feelings of isolation.
With so much pressure, both internally and externally, it can be difficult to recognise when these resolutions are unrealistic or harmful… Here are just a few of the thought processes that can be damaging:
🏋️♀️ I need to transform myself.
Setting an intention to fully transform ourselves (i.e. by losing weight) can be overwhelming and often comes from a feeling of shame or self-disgust.
Instead, try setting smaller, accessible intentions such as eating more healthily or committing to exercising more often.
🏆 Success = Perfection
The expectation that we aren’t whole until we are perfect is unachievable. Perfection isn’t human, and expecting ourselves to achieve it can add unnecessary stress and pressure.
Instead, maybe your intention can be around learning to accept your imperfections and grow from these challenges, focusing on progress rather than perfection.
😁 Resolutions will lead to happiness.
Happiness isn’t something we can achieve overnight, and it doesn’t come from deciding to be happy. Happiness is a process and it is natural to experience ups and downs.
Instead, try setting realistic goals that contribute to your overall wellbeing, and trust that this will eventually bring some happiness into your life.
While there is a feeling of ‘fresh start’ energy in the air, remember there is no pressure to know what you want, or to force change that you’re not ready for or that isn’t healthy. Some of the most common resolutions in the UK are around diet, physical health and exercise, and while these are crucial to our wellbeing they shouldn’t be at detriment to our mental health.
If you do want to use this energy to make intentions, we would recommend:
📓 Reflecting on the past year with positivity
Take note of your achievements, and personal growth. Acknowledge lessons learned and use them to create positive goals.
🥅 Set realistic goals
Focus on small, achievable intentions and break them down into manageable steps.
🧘♀️ Practice mindfulness and gratitude
Introduce a mindfulness practice into your day, this could be meditation, deep breathing or a mindful walk. These activities can help reduce stress and improve wellbeing.
🫂 Connect with others
Prioritise social connections that make you feel good. Maybe this means joining new social groups or finding new communities who share your goals and interests.
We hope you can use this time to create positive and nourishing intentions if it calls to you, and if not, we hope you can relinquish the need to plan ahead!
Remember we’re just at the beginning, so there is still plenty of time.
With warm wishes,
Alice and the Mental Health Learning Team 🧠
